I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
