Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
