you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
