i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Send help, water and tortillas.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
