Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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