whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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