You really coming over, don't trick.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
