I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
