my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
