ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
