that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
