I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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