areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
