fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
