I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
