There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
