i just wanna soil my oats bro
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
