She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
