is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
