why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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