Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
