Sry I called you an 8
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
