he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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