I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
