I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
