party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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