that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The best revenge is premature balding
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
