my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
