sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Randomize
