Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
