btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
