Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
