Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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