The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
