He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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