i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
