Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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