so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
