Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
