Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
