i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
