We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
