Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
