will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They have beer where we have blood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
