I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
