I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dick very happy bro
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
