it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
