she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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