Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
