he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
