So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
