i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
