is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
